Were I to look up from examining my navel,
a pursuit that has proved to be been nothing but painful
I may indeed find that my insides are still playful
not totally tied up in complete betrayal
I’m faithlessly grateful
I’m gracelessly faithful
I’m stupored but stable
a fatalist fable.

Were I to look beyond my smothering blunders
actively done, my patent emotions asunder
I may indeed see that my telephone number
has received softer speeches from my opposite number
I’m a most stunning sufferer
A real wild eyed wonderer
I’m a junkie that shudders
from erotic hungers.

Oh to be free of the bondage of me!
But that would mean erasing all memory.
I’ll cradle the silences, await your cast spell
I’ll pray for some guidance, deflate my ego.
I”m pretending prettily
I don’t mind the big city
While we differ and defer
to each other’s differences.

I bob along.


From The Shadows


To the morning from the shadows, I come, I come
From the blackness in the darkness, I run, I run
when the first sharp ray of dawn strikes, anon,anon
Will I still be who I was when we were one, yes one.


From the shadows to the morning, I call, I call
To the ones who stand in brightlight o’er the wall, the wall
You who went on bravely ahead, just ahead
Leaving me to live while you stay dead, so dead.


To new mornings without adornings, I stare, I stare
To go on without my armour, I dare, I dare
When that first sharp ray of sunrise beams me blind, so blind
Will the chorus rise behind me, in kind, in kind?



Date Night


Every Friday for 3.33 years
ill boded that number
But living is not counting
it comes to the fore
by these recountings

Date Night. A time made special
A time reserved respected
A time for me to make up for
all those decades of busyness.
A place marked as mine.

Movies, popcorn, M & M’s mixed in
The first time He saw it
He moved the bag in horror
spilling down the aisles
Even my favourites.

Friday is my Dateless Night
nobody else sees the point
They don’t see with His eyes
Their different gal
requires no such thing.

Date Night. I miss Date Night.
Is there ever to be
more moments of such regard
or is that gone too?
Being worth some bending.


Retirement Communities for Old Warriors


Here I am again in 2004 trying in vain to get the glory seeking Ardans to put down their swords and engage in roleplay that does not involve slaughtering everything in sight.
It worked until every Hobbit was killed every single time they ventured outdoors.

Elders of Arda: – Kae

Is your title longer than your attention span?
Does maintaining your Level no longer hold the
same appeal it once did?
Do you long for a quieter lifestyle? Thinking of
retirement communities?
Why not consider an escape from the noise and
the chaos of Eastern Arda. Golden Dawn
Retirement Village Located in Western Arda’s
most overlooked Community. *The Shire*

Nestled along the Brandywine River, convenient
to the Great West Road, explore the idea of
international living; discover why people retire
in The Shire and why many choose to buy a home
in Bywater. Explore the beautiful village of
Hobbiton and surrounding areas.

Shopping, entertainment, and financial services
are all within easy walking distance. Meet
expatriates and discover the activities and
services available through this active community.
Enjoy the low cost of Shire real estate.

Whether a cruise ending in the Bywater pool or a
Matinee in the Theatre, The Shire offers
community living at it’s most quaint. Wander
along The Tube loaded with picquersque local
shops in Buckland before a round of Golf in
Arda’s only Golf Course. Fish in the clean clear
waters of the areas many rivers or hike The
Twilight Hills, and Lake Evendim, a picturesque,
serene area perfect for leisurely strolls, or a
picnic lunch.

A warm and friendly welcomes awaits you at The
Green Dragon Inn. Nestled in the heart of
Bywater, with easy access to all amenities and
the opportunity to lead an independent lifestyle,
but never be far from home. Shopping,
entertainment, and financial services are all
within walking distance.

Relocation guides loaded with moving to The
Shire tips for a safe and trouble free move
available from Scapegoat@Bywater. Learn more
about international living today.

Hobbit Stuff from 2003 (oh my Lord)


“ON THE SIDE”, a song by Kae

I have a hankering for a song
Please learn the words and sing along
It isn’t naughty, lewd, or rude
It’s just a ditty about FOOD!

Breaking your fast is serious
You have to wisely choose
Taters, eggs, or mushrooms
Three choices you can’t lose

For taters make mine fried
With onions on the side
For eggies make mine fried
With bacon on the side
For mushrooms make mine fried

Second breakfast comes along
And to your tummy caters
And for selection these delicacies
Eggs, mushrooms, and taters.

For taters make mine fried
With onions on the side
For eggies make mine fried
With bacon on the side
For mushrooms make mine fried

Lunchtime, teatime, dinnertime
Your insides some vittles crave
Bedtime snacks and midnight too
These are the foods, my fave :

For taters make mine fried
With onions on the side
For eggies make mine fried
With bacon on the side
For mushrooms make mine fried !

A Guide for Unattached Male Hobbits (from my Geek days of 2005)


What Hobbittesses Look for in a Hobbit –– A Guide for Unattached Males
By Kae

Many letters have come in to Kae’s Korner from males
lamenting the shortage of interested females. Alot of
these poor lonely hobbits have absolutely no idea what
a hobbitess is looking for. Gentlehobbits, allow me
to enlighten you.

Firstly, Self–Confidence.
Do not confuse brashness & arrogance with
self–confidence. The Fourth Age looms and still we
have some testosterone–laced tweens strutting around
Bywater flaunting knives. Now really. Auto–attacking
nice people is not going to win a nice woman, if it is
a nice woman you are after.

The women of the West desire a man comfortable in his
own skin who does not need to ink anything other than,
perhaps, a discreetly placed black cat (and that
merely for thieving reasons best discussed with Mr.
Softfoot). A hobbit–man who can paint his toenails
without feeling the need to apologize or explain
himself to others always goes to the front of the
pack. A hobbit–man who can twinkle and sparkle with
shiny glittery things and still dash off a third
breakfast while composing long lineages in rhyming
couplets would never be forlorn in love. The
hobbitesses would be fighting over the right to hand
feed him peeled grapes, were they available.

The quintessential hobbit did actually exist. Largo
Brandybuck. Naturally, as is true of all legends, he
seems to be largely an urban myth these days. But for
those of the female hobbit persuasion we long for a
return to the ways of Largo when a bagged lunch was
ours for the pining and served up by a bright and
pleasant gentle–hobbit all garbed in Mithril. Who
could say no to that? (Obviously not me).

Meantime, you wannabe lovelorn halflings–– sing a
silly song, eat more and better food and take some
time out from plotting the imminent demise of evil to
enjoy life for what it can be. And in doing, do not
be surprised if you find a companion.

(Pass the taters and fries please Meril. Get me
another chocolate, Sila, dear.)

Bree Gate Song


  •♫♪ Bree Gate Song   •♫♪

Harry was a gatekeeper, 
just working shifts West–Gate    
2 Riders came a calling, 
Black and grim as fate          
Harry spoke so quiet–like                                
He seemed so hypnotised                                
We saw him shaking, trembling,                          
Fear screaming from his eyes.                        

Ol’ Goatleaf 2 days later 
at West–Gate once again        
4 hobbits from the Shire came in– 
he asked their names,  & kin,                                                 
He sat down in the Pony, 
he watched the hobbits drink  
He looked right at one singing                           
Who vanished in a blink!                                 

Ol Harry was with Ferny 
and a man with eyes of squint  
Strider saw him with them, 
Strider got a hint          
He said those Riders evil                                
Might use Ol’ Goatleaf’s ears                          
And sure enough that very night                         The hobbit room got the shears!                        

When travellin to the Breeland, 
when coming to the Gate  
Look closely at the Gate Guard 
in the city even’ins late 
And if its dear ol Harry                                 
If Goatleaf wear the shoesies                           Keep your words inside your head                         
Ere Black riders visit yousies